Low-cost is unforgiving: three minutes to the bathroom? Flight missed. The incredible story at Malpensa
"Don't ever do that again," the boarding attendant at gate 16 tells me. Malpensa Airport, a late summer morning [...]

"Don't ever do that again," the gate attendant at gate 16 tells me. Malpensa Airport, a late summer morning at Terminal 2, the one dedicated to easyjet. I have just been 'bounced' from a flight to Bari and my checked luggage disembarked.
You may wonder what I should not do "ever again" -- try to board without a boarding pass or with an invalid document? Bring a dangerous object on board? Nope...I should "never again" go to the bathroom before boarding.
In this article:
Because it may happen, as it did to me, that that visit to the restroom may cost you your flight. And a vacation. Or a visit to relatives or friends. Or a business appointment. There isn't any: when traveling with a low-cost car, you have to keep your antennae up at all times, like so many little ants ready to pick up a signal, an unexpected event. Otherwise, it's ca...
The (tragicomic and unbelievable) story told in detail: One midweek morning in late August, I reach Malpensa Airport's Terminal 2.. Already at 10 a.m. it is hot as hell. I leave my car at the P6 parking lot, which is yes in front of T2, but I find room so far away that I'd better wait for the shuttle that shuttles between MXP's two terminals. The five-minute wait plus the walk to the departures (the shuttle stops in front of the arrivals), cost me an epic sweat.
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At departures terminals for tagging and shipping checked baggage are very intuitive And in just over a minute my suitcase is gone. I have purchased access to the ViaMilano Fast Track, but since there is little line I keep it for 'better' occasions (it is valid for two months from the day indicated) and make a ten minute or so spinning at the security checkpoints.
The departure time of easyjet flight 3527 to the Apulian capital is still about 30 minutes away so after a stop to buy a small bottle of water, I head for exit D16, which is at least half a kilometer from the controls, being the second-to-last in the air terminal, for those flying into Schengen.
At the gate, the passengers are all still there: that is, have gone through the boarding pass and ID check and are waiting to board the Airbus parked about 30 meters away. The glass doors to the forecourt are still closed. I glimpse a 'Toilet' sign about ten meters (maybe less) from the gate. I assess the situation and go: help myself to the toilet and wash my hands. How long will it have taken me? Three minutes, to exaggerate four?
I get out, and there is no sign of the passengers, so much so that I think I'm going in the wrong direction.
Instead, the gate is actually D16. I step forward and one of the three boarding attendants apostrophizes me like this: "Are you the one with the checked baggage?". I hint a yes and she continues: "Boarding is closed, your luggage is being unloaded, sorry." I retort that I must have been in the bathroom maybe three to four minutes and that never in my life have I seen boarding opened and closed so quickly. She points out that the passengers already had their documents and boarding passes viewed, while I did not.
I see my suitcase under the plane and try the desperate move, asking the ground stewardess if it comes out on the apron and try to ask the attendants if they will reload it on board. This all happens, mind you, while the passengers on my flight are still climbing down the steps. She, politely, gets out, talks to the attendant who had just pulled the tape off the 'belly' of the plane, who replies 'niet'. "You can go to arrivals and pick up your suitcase at Tape 1, then at departures desk 37 they will tell you how to get on a later flight."
In disbelief, perhaps a little dazed, I get the procedure repeated and then mournfully make my way to the arrivals thinking to myself that the low-cost airlines, their passengers (guests one would say elsewhere, but not here), really don't give a damn.
Service information: for those who, like me, have been 'bounced' from a flight, easyjet has a special fare called Rescue: it must be purchased at Malpensa at the aforementioned counter 37 in the T2 departure lounge, within an hour of the departure date of the flight from which you were rejected. In my case it was 129 euros (one-way). As correctly suggested by the counter attendant herself, it is best to first check for cheaper rates online. And then, in case, proceed to rebooking. The fare provides the same conditions as the one you originally purchased, in terms of seat on board, carry-on baggage, and checked baggage.